The Night Bus
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If you ever go backpacking around South East Asia then I can guarantee, without a doubt, that you will spend a few nights on a night bus. And oh boy, it will be an experience you aren't likely to forget! Night busses are like normal coaches, but instead of seats there are beds. Bare in mind, I am using the word bed in the loosest way possible, as they are more similar to dentists chairs than a comfy double.
My first encounter with a sleeper bus proved to be one of the most hellish journeys I have ever been on, and I'm not even slightly exaggerating. Myself and four others were travelling from Vang Vieng in Laos, to Hanoi in Vietnam and stupidly chose to go by bus, rather than fly, as it was the cheaper option. Never again will I make that mistake. As there were five of us we decided to get the back row (like the cool popular kids we are) so we could experience this wondrous journey together. What an error of judgement that was. It turned out there were technically two back rows consisting of five dentist chair beds in a line. We were positioned behind the first row, meaning we had to clamber over other passengers to even get to our beds. Once we were finally in position our feet were then crammed under the reclining part of the chair in front. Fabulous.
Just look how happy we all were; content and blissfully unaware of how horrendous this journey was going to be. As we set off in the day the first few hours were fine, we watched films, listened to music and eventually fell asleep in an uncomfortable 5 way spoon. However, I remember jolting awake at around midnight, covered in sweat, confused as to why were weren't moving and fuming that someone had turned the air-con off! Then I realised we were at the border, which didn't open till 7am, meaning I had to suffer seven hours squished between 4 people, with no air-con in a 30 degree humid sweat fest. I tolerated this for around 20 minutes, before bolting off the bus to lie on the side of the road. I can safely say, it was one of the worst nights sleep I've ever had.
Finally, 7am crawled around and we grabbed our passports from the bus and queued to get our exit visa. Before getting back on the bus we all decided a toilet break was in order, as there wasn't one on the bus and you never know when you're next going to stop. Imagine our utter horror when we come out of the toilet and learn our coach has crossed the border without us, along with all our belongings. The only help a Laos official could give us was 'go to Vietnam'. So, with only our passports to our names, we began wandering down the road wondering how we were going to manage with no phones, money or clothes. Every time a corner was turned, we prayed our bus would be waiting by the side of the road. No such luck. However, after a while the Vietnamese border check point came into view, along with the hope our coach was waiting there.
I confidently strolled up to the desk, passport in hand and waited to have my visa processed, only to be told a $1 fee needed to be paid. After countlessly explaining our situation to the officials they helpfully told us our only option was to 'go back to Laos'. Absolutely brilliant. The 5 of us were now stranded in no-mans-land between two countries that refused to let us in, with no money or means of contacting anyone. Thankfully, an Argentinian woman took pity on us and offered to pay the $5 border fee to get us into Vietnam. What a hero. If it wasn't for her I can say with certainty that I would still be at that check point now! We finally crossed the border into Vietnam where (praise the Lord) our coach was waiting for us!
32 hours after setting off we arrived in Hanoi.
Now I must add that after my initial night bus experience all my other journeys were incident free and relatively nice. I'm not sure if this is because the other busses were genuinely high quality and organised, or if I just have a terrible point of reference to compare them to. You decide.
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