The 5 Stages of Every Plane Journey

Hello Wonderful People!

Going on a plane is normally pretty exciting, no matter how many times you’ve been on one, as it usually means you’re off on holiday! Now, this may just be me but no matter how long, or short, the plane journey is I always go through the same emotional roller coaster. Sadly, I've only ever flown in economy class, so I don’t know if those lucky business class fliers (damn you) will have the same thought process. However, anyone who’s traveled in cattle class will surely understand each and every one of these stages.

Excitement

You've checked in, are through security and have had a good old nosey around Duty Free; it’s now time to board the plane.

‘FINALLY, I've been waiting so long for this moment. Wahoooo, I’m going on holiday! Score, I've got the window seat! I hope they've got a good film selection. Oooohh I really love this little pillow and blanket, they’ll be great for my nap later. This seat is really comfy, I love it! YES we’re taking off, FANTASTIC! This is going to be amazing, I can’t wait to get there, I love flying!’

Enthusiasm

The plane has taken off and you’re pretty comfy, plus the first meal of the flight is about to be served. Life is good.

‘I can’t wait for my food, I hope there’s a good desert! I love having the window seat, staring out of the window and seeing how high we are is SO COOL. Right, after I've eaten I’m going to watch some films (thank God the new Hobbit is on, YAY) and then have a nice long sleep. This flight is going to be awesome. I think we get 2 meals. Cracking. I can eat then sleep, then eat then sleep a bit more. Perfect. But first, let’s see what other films they’re showing. YAY food’s here!’

Boredom

It’s a few hours into the flight now and you've realised that flying isn't all it’s cracked up to be.

‘That meal was pretty average, I wonder what they had in business class? I’m pretty sure we should be there by now, we've been on this plane for 6 days now. I’m SO bored. Have we taken a detour? There is nothing to do on this plane. I wish I could get out for a stroll down the isle. Stupid window seat. This pillow is useless and the blanket smells of sick. I wish I had a bed. I bet they have beds in business class. All the films are rubbish. I’m SO bored. I wish I could get to sleep. Seriously, I don’t think I've ever been so bored in my whole life.’

Frustration

It’s now a good 7 hours into the flight and things are getting serious. You've eaten, slept (maybe) and watched as much TV as you can. But there are still so many hours to go!

‘Get me off this bloody plane. Who’s idea was it to fly from New Zealand to the UK anyway?! FOR GOD SAKE. I’m pretty sure I've watched every movie on this flight. I can’t sleep. I can’t even feel my bum anymore. Stupid plane. Why aren't I rich? Why can’t I afford to fly Business Class? I’m pretty hungry. How come everyone else on the whole plane can sleep? I've never been this tired in my life. Are they going to serve anymore food? Feed me. Seriously, I think my bottom has dropped off. Why are we still over the sea?! I’m going to try to sleep again. NOPE, can’t do it. It’s official, I've lost the ability to sleep. Arrrrgh, I’m never flying again.’

Relief

You’re over land again and the pilot has just announced the descent into the airport, finally the holiday is about to begin!

‘Thank the Lord we are finally HERE!! I can’t wait to get off this plane. I feel like I've been on here for days. I can’t wait for some fresh air. I bet they take ages getting the bags off the plane. I hope they've not lost my bag? Oh well, who cares? I’m on holiday bitchezzz! Get those doors open and get me off this plane! Ahhhh, finally! That flight wasn't too bad was it?’